Research and Planning - Video

This is an improved version of our script. I had been told by my teacher to to improve the first scene of our script, which is the letter, as it sounded too formal and was not realistic due to the language which was utilised. Therefore, I took my teachers advice and decided to improve the first scene. In this improved version I have used less formal language and made it very conversational to give the effect of realism in the letter.

 

 

Short film script (Improved)

Scene 1:

Character 1: Honey I’m home! (Heads up the stairs)

Character 1: (Finds letter and starts reading it) Dear Tom, you may have noticed that I’ve not been myself lately. Well there’s a reason why I’ve been acting up. A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with cancer. This broke my heart into pieces. To be honest it’s not fair at all for you to be living with me and my illness. Things happen for a reason, maybe we were just not meant to be. The times we’ve had together were amazing and I will never forget all the things you did for me, you made me the happiest girl in the world. I guess destiny had other plans for us. I’ve got to go now. Just remember I will always love you, Emily. xxx

…..

WHAT!

Scene 2:

Character 1: WHY! (Punches the dashboard in anger)

Character 1: (In the car) How did I not realise what we she was going through! This is all my fault.

(FLASHBACK SCENE 1)

Character 1: Honey wake up, its past 12. We need to go.

Character 2:  Please baby 10 more minutes, I’m really tired.

(FLASHBACK SCENE 2)

Character 1: Hospital?! Oh it must be nothing, just them normal women things.

(FLASHBACK SCENE 3)

Character 1: Honey what are these pills?

Character 2: (Grabs pills off him) It’s nothing! Don’t worry about it

Scene 3:

Character 1: This all makes sense now.